Warm love, with achingly everlasting cups of cocoa.
The air outside is frozen, but our breaths and laughs and bodies have warmed the living room into something like a home.
Something living and breathing, with flesh and blood and woolen socks.


I curled up with comfort and let him hold me through the night,
and the first night it was sweet, sweet, warm, and safe.

Then did you hear my heart beat fainter? Did you see me roll away and ache to sleep alone.
I covered myself, head buried deep beneath a pillow, hoping to postpone existence
just more more minute, hour, day.

sharp air bit my nose, uncovered by morning
sharp drop to my stomach when i remembered
the evening of comfort, caresses in bed.

from healing to wretched
too quickly to catch the change
a fatal moment of naivety.

tonight i sleep on bare wood floor.
i want no more secrets,
i want only to be whole