I'm torn between too many things.

To pursue and to be pursued. What if our friendships rots away to nothing, because I am prideful and don't always want to be the one who pursues.

Or what if I should let it rest, if you've no heart to look for me.

Where's the balance? Because I keep running after and calling after, and you've left me with nothing but my imagination to cling on to. And that's a very dangerous place.

There are no friendships, always. I do not heal, because I've no strength to let things lie.
Deep aches hurt, I am hurting.
And YHWH, you aren't the only one I want to hear my story. That's the problem. I want someone with real eyes to look at mine, and real arms to shake me back to sanity. I'm selfish. And if I said I believed you were ENOUGH, I'd be lying right now. Because I've begun to look at how I actually live, rather than what I say I believe.

And my life says I believe you are anything but enough.
Let's change that.