YHWH,
I'm angry. No, I'm weeping. Do you love as my father loves? He looks at me with dimmed eyes and chants is disappointment toward me. I am not perfect, I am not clean, I am not good. I know all this, and so does he. I know I know I know I know I know, oh Yeshua I know. And his dimmed gaze refuses to meet my eyes. Always looking around and over me, never asks for my heart.

Do you love as my father loves?

Or do you care as my lovers have? Begging and grasping for more leg room inside my skin with me. Dripping my blood with their own and pulling me into a less than holy kiss. Promising forevers and onlys and leaving me with weeks unfinished and other women loved. Do you love me only as long as I can love you? Do you care as my lovers have?

YHWH, hear this and answer me. My father does not love me. My lovers have only used me. How will you love me?
I have recovered from so many blows, again and again I have reached out grabbed an arm and stood.
Do you love as my father loves?