Stumbling around, groping for solid ground. Friend, who are you?

They strike me when I least expect it. I sat around tonight with four of the most bizarre and beloved boys in my life. Two straightedge and bitter, two full of liquor and love. Oh what a group they make. How is it that these hearts are full of life's bitter shit and not an ounce of Christ's grace, and yet they love more genuinely and loyally than most?

They're playing beer pong in the kitchen and I'm eating taco bell and laughing til my cheeks burn from grinning and my sides ache. They've been around for years, always the same love. They'd fight for me, they already have.

How is it, amidst these silly profane boys do I know I am loved so clearly, that I have never once doubted it. I can walk through their door any hour, be welcomed with Supersmash brothers and a place to crash.

Brings an aching joy, remembering so many nights and so many trips to who knows where and shows full of breakdowns and adolescent tomfoolery. We grew up together, the group that was once twenty strong has split in twenty different directions. Few left in Auburn, fewer still less than enemies. But these at least, these are still here. These are the strange friends, that somehow, I know are going to be here when I'm a crazy old cat lady.