Rootless Tree, these are now to you.

There are losses in life that remove an essence of you. It feels like there should be a white flag of surrender above my life, or at least a banner exclaiming that I cannot possibly smile again as long as this loss has existed. And the the punch line. Life goes on. It feels so wrong that I should smile after this, but it's true. Life goes on.

I want to take a stab at you, try to raise some response from you. I want to grasp the fact that I should be over this. It just seems like you of all people should never have done this to me. You who held me in one of the darkest moments of my life, in the aftermath of him. You who listened to Rootless Tree and screamed the chorus with me. You who said "I love you" more genuinely than any other.

You have walked out, and only offer an apology saying you have handled things badly? I stay up at night thinking about this, do you understand that? I cry for this. I don't let go of this. Of all the people who have hurt me in my life, who I have forgiven and forgotton.. I never imagined to add you to the list. Only I haven't forgotten, and to be honest I'm not sure that I can forgive.

Gain her trust in the fullest. You will not see me again.